Wondering About Endings

I’ve been thinking about endings lately, and as is so often the case in life, this subject surfaced in multiple arenas. On the one hand, I’ve been struggling to write the final chapters of my current work in progress, the third book in the Eden.2 series. This struggle has coincided with an effort to prepare for my own death (not imminent, but I figure I’m in the last quarter of my mortal journey as well).

I find myself procrastinating on both fronts, as I wonder about what makes a good ending. Can a splendid last chapter in a novel inform a stellar finale to life, or vice versa? There seem to be some common themes to consider:

Closure

First, examine all those loose ends. In my novel, I need to make sure I answer the central questions raised in a satisfying manner. The protagonist needs not only to solve her quest to save the planet but also to find a way to belong to a community, which is her deepest yearning. Along the way, other bits of mystery must resolve as well for the ending to make sense.

I’m not sure I will get to tie up my personal life in such a neat way. Recently, I bought a planner in which you record all the things your children will need to know after you die: the code to your phone, everything you make recurring payments on, where you’ve stashed your will, etc. I don’t mind leaving people in the dark about some parts of my life, but I want those mysteries to be intriguing and thought-provoking, not mundane and annoying. Ultimately, it’s up to others to determine whether my quests have been successful.

Growth

In ending my novel, I also want to clarify that my protagonist has changed through her journey. She has had revelations about herself and her world. She sees things differently and has grown emotionally and spiritually. In the book’s finale, I want her to be more real, to herself and to the reader, than she was in the beginning.

Does this have a parallel in facing mortality? While it may be hard for those outside our own skins to perceive our personal growth, it’s important to me to note it to myself as I approach my final chapter. I am my whole life’s journey, not just a frozen moment at its close. During my mother’s funeral reception, we displayed pictures from an array of times in her life. They sparked many stories from friends and family about each phase of her life. It was a wonderful way to acknowledge her accomplishments… but it’s hard to capture externally the internal movement of spiritual maturation. Perhaps our true growth will always be hidden in God, revealed not in this life, but in eternity.

Hope

I want the conclusion of my novel to circle back to its beginning but leave the reader on a different doorstep- one of hope. So, my protagonist will find herself at the door of a dwelling which opens with an invitation into belonging. This echoes the opening of the story, where she is alone, her solitariness only disturbed by others’ needs. I intend it to leave the reader with a sense of a journey well-traveled and the promise of a richer, deeper life.

Does this reflect reality? Can we go into death, as we went into birth, completely helpless but with our eyes now open and hanging onto hope? Certainly, the theological theme of eternal life encourages us to look at our end this way. Christianity portrays death as a portal into fuller life with God… as mysterious as life was before that final push down the birth canal.

The End

When I finally write The End, I will be relieved to be done with this work in progress (even though I know I have months of editing ahead of me). I guess, regarding my own end, the editing will be in other people’s hands. I will have gone on to a whole new story. As a responsible author, I just wish to leave the loose ends tied up, having shared any growth I’ve attained as wisdom, and embracing hope that the sequel is even more fascinating than the previous opus.